Annabel, 57
Creative, bold, empowered
“ I challenge stereotypes and show that I can continue to thrive and contribute at any age. Age should never be a barrier to pursuing your dreams and finding joy in every moment. Stay curious and flexible in mind and body.”
✨ Twinsight: Annabel has faced significant challenges as part of what she refers to as the squeeze generation. Her story serves as a beacon of hope for others in similar situations, emphasizing the need for balance while managing the responsibilities of caring for multiple generations. She openly discusses the emotional and mental toll it takes on everyone involved.
As society continues to grapple with the challenges of an aging population, Annabel's journey reminds us that it is possible to find balance amidst the chaos. Her story is a great example of the resilience required in overcoming challenging circumstances and emerging stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.
How old are you and how are you feeling about that?
A: I am a funky 57 years old. I feel vibrant and empowered at this age. I embrace the wisdom and experiences that come with it while staying true to my fun-loving and adventurous spirit.
Three words that describe you.
A: Creative, Bold, and Empowered.
What’s the one life lesson that you wish you had figured out earlier?
A: Aim for balance with family life, relationship, career and friends and notice when one is dominating at the expense of another in the pie chart of life. Imbalance is not sustainable and eventually something will ‘give’.
Proudest accomplishment?
A: My proudest accomplishment is building my successful business from the ground up while pursuing my passions in music, spoken word, and hosting Airbnb guests in my home – oh and raising two children who are now out in the world having their own adventures. I take pride in my ability to balance multiple roles and live a fulfilling life.
What’s the worst part about aging and what’s the best?
A: The worst part about ageing: The physical changes that come with ageing such as slower heal and repair times for injuries or strains, can sometimes be challenging to navigate, but I refuse to let them define me or hold me back.
The best part about aging: The best part is the sense of liberation and confidence that comes with knowing yourself better. I am more comfortable in my own skin, unapologetically embracing who I am.
An anthropologist by training, Annabel began her working life variously as a lumberjack, a sailing instructor and a ski guide. She then spent 25 years in marketing and PR. Her expertise is in asking the right questions and helping people to listen better to the answers. With her two adult children having flown the nest, she is training for Brighton West Pier to the Marina and back ( a sea swim of 6km) and is having sax lessons with the guy from Madness.
Have you experienced ageism?
A: Yes, I have encountered both sexism and to a lesser extent ageism, but I choose to rise above it and prove that my gender is my superpower and age is just a number. I challenge stereotypes and show that I can continue to thrive and contribute at any age. Interestingly since moving to Brighton on the South coast of England, I have felt less impacted by the notion of age – it feels as if anything goes at any age in this city!
What’s your message to the world?
A: Give yourself time and space to understand what it is you love, what you are good at and what the world needs and pays you to do. Embrace your passions, take risks, and live life to the fullest. Age should never be a barrier to pursuing your dreams and finding joy in every moment. Stay curious and flexible in mind and body.
Was there something you learned the hard way?
A: You can’t always please all the people all the time, In fact, it is probably about half the people half the time! I have come to realise that I grew up as a people pleaser, trying to be the ‘good girl’ as two older brothers tore around the house. This strategy got me so far, but in business, I needed to toughen up, develop a healthy cynicism and a steely grit in the face of some challenging colleagues, clients and influencers. A former national tabloid newspaper deputy editor once described me as “someone who blushes like a virgin in a whore house, but is as tough as those old boots she wears!’ It was at that point that I realised I had broken through to a new way of being.
What were your "hiccups" or challenges along the way?
A: 2013 was the third annus horribilis in a row for me.
In 2010, my then partner and father of my children had a heart episode, lost his mother, turned 50 and felt he needed to leave the relationship, to find himself. I found MYSELF - running a giant barn of a family house with two teens.
In 2011, both my parents’ health took a turn for the worse, my mum with dementia and dad with Alzheimer’s. They call us the squeeze generation.
In 2012 the pressures of single parenting, caring for the oldies and commuting to London four days a week took their toll. The daily onslaught of remote caring, daily train travel, mega work responsibilities and managing a hormonal household sent me over the edge. Something had to give, before I fully imploded. I left my job.
In 2013, my brothers and I took the hideous but necessary decision to place both my parents in residential care. In his lucid moments dad would comment; “he used to be useful once”. He lasted just four months. Dying peacefully after gently suggesting he didn’t need to eat any more of his lunch, and remarking how beautiful Mon was (Monica – my mum, his wife of 58 years) and would she be coming too? It was the first major grief I had experienced. A gut-wrenching physical pain that came and went in waves. Mum, a former ballet dancer and teacher, retreated into silence never to utter a word again. She occasionally patted another resident’s head – a tall handsome man with a twinkle in his eye – a doppelganger for dad. There was some solace, as she lit up with music and she remembered her ballet moves and so one way to connect with her as we danced in an embrace.
With financial pressures mounting and afraid I would be feeding the kids lentils and rice forevermore, I took the plunge and launched my own business and at the same time opened my house up as an AirBnb offer. A decade on I may be greyer and have a few more wrinkles but I am still standing and have carved out a life I love.
Do you have any regrets?
A: I once chose love over a job in California, but if I had not done that I would not have the two brilliant children I was lucky enough to bring into this world, and so no, no regrets.
Would you do anything differently?
A: I stayed stuck in the belief I wasn’t musical until I took up saxophone 5 years ago with a brilliant teacher and have discovered I can make some noises I enjoy.
What’s next for you? What does your future self look like?
A: I envision a future filled with continued growth and adventure. I aim to expand my business, collaborate with more musicians, develop a one woman show to showcase my spoken word writing, and inspire others through my journey. My future-self radiates confidence, creativity, and a zest for life (all being well!).
Are there traditions in your culture related to aging that you would like to share?
A: In my culture, at best, we celebrate aging as a mark of wisdom and experience. There are rituals and gatherings where older individuals are honoured and their contributions are recognised. I swim in the sea year round, with older people every day, which inspires me to stay fit and curious about life. Sadly, both my parents have died, from Alzheimer’s and Dementia and so I have less interaction with the 80/90 year old age group than I used to!
Do you feel visible?
A: Yes, I feel visible and refuse to let society’s expectations or stereotypes diminish my presence. I shine as brightly as I want to, and my voice is heard when I have stuff to say.
Are there things you are doing now that you couldn’t do before?
A: I can confidently express myself through my artistic pursuits without worrying about societal judgments. My Aunt Olga, a tarot card reader in Greenwich Village, NYC, told me that was the biggest benefit of reaching her sixties and so I have learned that from her! I have also learned to prioritise my own needs and well-being, setting boundaries that allow me to fully enjoy life.
Favorite band, book or artist?
A: My favourite artist or band changes and depends on my mood and ranges from fabulous female performers like Ella Fitzgerald and Annie Lennox through to the iconic Freddie Mercury and Queen to up and coming bands like The Joy a five piece all male line up from South Africa singing acapella, who I saw just a few days ago at BrightonFringe – bringing tears to my eyes.
Books/podcasts: I love the inspiration and wise writings of Mary Angelou. I like books that explore themes of family dynamics, personal relationships, and the complexities of everyday life such as Anne Tyler. I enjoy Elizabeth Day podcast series on ‘how to fail’ and ‘best friend therapy’. I also like true crime and am intrigued by the paranormal: the Battersea Poltergeist was an absolute gripper in lock down.
What sparks your joy these days?
A: Exploring new destinations, speaking French whenever I can, and immersing myself in the beauty of nature during my travels makes my heart sing – be it mountains or the sea. Additionally, the exhilaration of performing alto sax and spoken word continues to fuel my soul.
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