Shaun, 55
Optimist, tenacious, curious
“I have wisdom, experience, and am more comfortable in my own skin than ever before, and that will only grow as I do. So I embrace and appreciate every new day that sees me just a little older, every day.”
📸 David Roddis
✨ Twinsight: Shaun's story is a remarkable source of inspiration, as it embodies the virtues of gratitude and positivity towards aging after living through the early days of the AIDS crisis. His unwavering dedication to his "dream machine" demonstrates that we can pursue our goals with passion and persistence, regardless of our age. Shaun's approach to life serves as a shining example of how we can live without regrets, always striving to make the most of our time on this earth, one day at a time.
Just yesterday I was in a conversation with a friend who hates that she's aging, and her eyes popped when I'd said how very much I love aging. I see ageing as an accomplishment and a gift. Generally speaking, getting to this age in and of itself means one has beaten back challenges, overcome obstacles, survived whatever life has thrown at you. But specifically speaking, I am among the first generation of HIV-positive people to reach the age I'm at now; to be alive and getting older. As you know, an entire generation of gay men was lost to AIDS. Mere kids, in their 20s or 30s taken early. Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, I live a happy normal life. But it's not lost on me that I could have been one of those people who didn't get to the point I'm at now, along with so many others. I have wisdom, experience, and am now more comfortable in my own skin than ever before, and that will only grow as I do. So, I embrace and appreciate every new day that sees me just a little older, every day.
How old are you and how are you feeling about that?
A: I’m 55, about to enter what you call the magic hour. I’m excited. I feel ageing helps with self-actualization. I want to become everything I am capable of becoming, the best version of myself.
Three words that describe you.
A: Optimistic, tenacious, curious.
What’s the one life lesson that you wish you had figured out earlier?
A: I wish I had known way earlier that what someone thinks about me is none of my business. Oh, and drop the word “should” from my vocabulary.
Proudest accomplishment?
A: I’ve made a lot of personal and professional goals happen, with more in the dream machine, but I’m proudest of the fact I have remained true to myself, to who I am and lived a life that reflects that. I am my own boss, I point my ship in the direction I want to go, I don’t follow anyone else’s ideas of what I should be doing.
Photo of Shaun courtesy of Kevin Allwood
What’s the worst part about aging and what’s the best?
A: The best is the feeling of accomplishment that I believe aging is. And the blessing it certainly is. As I mentioned before, a guy like me making it to this age was once a roll of the dice. Just like as a young gay kid growing up I never imagined myself getting married (yet did, then divorced) as a young gay man in the thick of the AIDS epidemic when there were no meds, you didn’t dare imagine yourself older, in your 50s. God no. You just hoped you didn’t get HIV and die..
Have you experienced ageism?
A: I suppose I have but I reject it so quickly I don’t feel any sting. I’m single and sometimes online other younger gay men can be dismissive of anyone over 40, which is just so silly to me and says more about them than anything. But on the other hand, in my community, my age also carries a lot of currency with other younger gay men. Outside of that I can’t say I’ve experienced ageism.
What’s your message to the world?
A: Tomorrow is not a promise, it’s not guaranteed. Stop wasting time. Live without regrets. Take the chance, follow your bliss, make joy your priority and ask yourself: What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail? often.
Favourite band, book, artist?
A: Madonna / Alexander McQueen / anything written by Ottessa Moshfegh
What sparks your joy these days?
A: My new dog, Léo, and working on various creative projects. Enjoying my own company.
What’s next for you? What does your future self look like?
A: Pulled, filled and Botox’d to the max! Kidding. I’m writing a memoir and I love the idea of it touching others, and I have a couple of podcast pitches I’m researching right now. I’ll always be creative. On the personal side, I’ve had relationships most of my adult life and this is the first stretch of time (5-6 years) where I have been single and I really enjoy it. I’m a good solo act. I wouldn’t say no to someone new in my life, but they’d need to rock my world because things are pretty good right now for me on my own.
Are there traditions in your culture related to aging that you would like to share?
A: Wash your face! Tone! Moisturize! Serums! Retinol! You should fairly slide into bed at night from all the self-care.
Do you feel visible?
A: At 6’4” - yes. But as an aging person I don’t feel invisible. Perhaps, living in Toronto’s gaybourhood, I’m not checked out to the degree I was here in my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, but then again, I’m usually in my own world paying attention to other things to notice or to check others out. And outside of that, interacting with those who cross my path on the daily I certainly feel seen. Long answer to your short question!
Are there things you are doing now that you couldn’t do before?
A: Yes! I have an inner peace and calmness that I couldn’t summon or muster before. I was much more anxious and tense when I was younger. Problems - although they may stress me to a degree - are far more water off a duck’s back now. I’m much more solution-oriented and attract positive results to life’s issues than I’ve ever been. Hence the inner peace and calmness. I always know that all is well and I am safe. No matter what.
Find out more about Shaun on Twitter: @ShaunProulx Instagram: @ShaunProulxMediaInc Website: ShaunProulx.com