Retiring Together - The Big Misunderstanding
Retirement, it’s going to be great, right? You and your partner have been talking about it for years. No being forced out of sleep by the bone-shaking sound of your alarm, no dark winter mornings (you’ll still be in bed). No defrosting the car at 6.00 am or standing in a crowded train, holding on for dear life and being crushed by the person next to you.
Those and so many more things you won’t be forced to do. Be sociable with colleagues that frankly, you just don’t like, listen to office gossip, or arrange your holidays to suit other people and your work timetable. No more longing for Friday because you just need a rest.
Even if you enjoy your work and your colleagues are great, retirement will give you freedom, won’t it? Time to do the things you want to do when you want to do them.
And although you’ve discussed all this with your partner, all the things you no longer have to do, have you discussed the things you are going to do? Or do you have a vague idea that you’ll both want to do the same thing?
Do you have the same ideas about what retirement will bring, and how you’ll use these precious years? If not, now is the time to make clear your expectations.
Do you plan to travel? Not just go on holiday but really travel? See Machu Picchu, Sugar Loaf Mountain or The Great Wall of China? That all sounds amazing! But is your partner’s idea of travel, a beach holiday where they can sit in the sun all day listening to music through their headphones and reading the latest novel?
Do you want to learn new things, languages, salsa or oil painting? Is your partner’s idea of new things trying out the new restaurant at the end of the road or visiting a different supermarket each week?
Of course, there is nothing wrong with any of these aspirations, but if you don’t make a plan together and make it clear what both of your expectations are, retirement could be more than just a disappointment.
Of course, you love your partner and spending more time together is one of the things you’re most looking forward to. But for many years you have probably spent most of your working hours apart. It can be a big adjustment to be together 24/7, so as well as finding things to do together and having shared interests it’s also a good idea to have your own friends and interests so that when you get together after a day apart you have things to talk about, experiences to relate and things to laugh over together.
Retirement can be the best time of your life if you plan it properly.
Twinquiry: How are you planning your retirement? Share your thoughts with us.